Lessons of Entity
by papayann
Summary: AU. Guy Kutolah has been stuck in an orphanage since the War. But a mysterious group of people choose him to come with them to learn something... surreal. AU Matthew x Guy main On hiatus, possibly discontinued, so don't get too attatched. I'm sorry!
1. How Long Must I Wait?

**EDIT: the story's now under a new username (it was formerly under nariko.hoshi) but I'm the same person, my hoshi account just got hacked. So yeah, don't report or whatever, please :)**

**EDIT 2: I've come back to edit this thing again. I think the tenses are sorted out, unlike before. It's past tense, loves. Sorry about the switchups before!**

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That place was a prison. I'd swear to— er…

Not God; I couldn't bring myself to believe in Him anymore. Maybe then… my father's grave. Yes, that would keep me telling the truth. Not that that was one of my problems- If I ever tried to lie, I just ended up stuttering myself to incoherency.

The orphanage was probably worse than a prison, actually- at least in a prison you would be left alone. There were way too many of us here to have any time _alone_. We were together every second of the day, the only exception being when we were using the bathroom- and even then, there would always be someone pounding on the door, wanting their turn.

Worst of all, most of us had been here for _years_. The war that had claimed so many of our families was long past, and we were still here. Only the tiniest, cutest ones got taken; the rest of us being too independent, deformed, gloomy, or otherwise undesirable as children.

Really though… this whole thing would be so much more bearable if we just stuck together, made friends… but none of us will… including me, of course. I was far too resentful for _that._

So there we were: a bunch of bitter and resentful 'minors' stuck together, awaiting the day we finally turned 19 and would be free.

I, Guy Kutolah, had just had my 18th birthday the day before (December 13). It was the most agonizing birthday of my life! If only I had been one year older, just _one bloody year!_ But no… so I'd spent all day gnashing my teeth and repeating _Why?_ To myself, getting more and more wound up until finally I punched Raven, a particularly surly redhead who hated me because this other redhead, Pricilla, liked me. I didn't even like that girl… But after punching him, no matter how good it felt, I was sent to my room for the remainder of the day, birthday forgotten and missing my dinner once again.

They just didn't get it…

Right then, I was perched on a windowsill on the top floor of the orphanage- my favorite place in the whole cursed building, and the only place to be alone. No one but me could fit on this narrow ledge… those times were the only times I liked being so short and skinny.

I looked out the window to the long cobbled path leading to the orphanage. Fat snowflakes drifted lazily past the window, the wind occasionally blowing them in little swirls. I wished I was allowed outside… it was too hot in here, and so pretty there…

I pressed my face against the cool glass wistfully. It soothed my skin, and somehow my mood. I exhaled slowly, watching the glass fog.

Distantly, I heard the bell for dinner- well, it was called a bell, but whoever designed the thing must have been deaf- anyone else would know that bells are supposed to sound pleasant, not like a metal door being slowly and agonizingly squished.

I didn't move; my body had gotten used to skipping meals and the relief of the cool glass was worth missing the gloop they tried to feed us. Instead, I breathed on the glass again. This time I raised my left hand to write words. It was strange, I wasn't _trying_ to do this at all, my hand just wrote.

I didn't plan it this way, but it read _this place is a prison, _but in mirror letters, so only those outside would be able to read them. It was true… may as well warn others away. I breathed again.

_What does it take?_

What did it take to _what_? I blinked… I had no idea. In any case, it didn't seem right, so I ran my hand over those words, smudging them out of existence. I replaced the sentence with a new one:

_How long must I wait?_

That satisfied me. I looked at the words for a moment, actually drawing back my head to see the full mirror-lettered effect. What had just happened? A feeling I didn't recognize resonated through me for a moment, but then it was gone.

How long must I wait… absently, I fingered my braid as I considered the words. _It_ had measured my wait- I hadn't cut my hair since I'd come there, except for the bangs… The braid started out as a stubby thing that poked at my neck whenever I moved my head, and now it hangs nearly to my waist, reminding me perpetually of _time._

I shut my eyes, feeling tired. I pressed closer to the glass, still loving the cold that radiated from it. I drifted slowly to sleep, thinking of my life… I wondered how much I'd wasted there. If I were to die the next day… a whole third of my life would have been exhausted there…

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So there you have it. I've FINALLY gotten this fic started… and a HUGE thanks, plus many cookies, to **Magic Pyro Anabeil** for being an awesome person and beta-ing this (can I send you the next chapter soon? Do you mind?)! And anyone who doesn't know her should go read her stuff… personally, I love it all!

So anyway… you may have recognized, "this place is a prison," "what does it take?" and "how long must I wait?". If you did… congrats, you like good music! They're lyrics from the song, 'This Place is a Prison' by The Postal Service. I won't be doing any more chapters like this, but this song is what got me writing the fic in the first place. Though believe me, the mood and tone of it changes drastically.

And at the moment, I'm taking pairing suggestions! Chances are, they'll be listened too UNLESS it involves Pricilla. She's doomed to become an old crone with crooked teeth as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, the only definite pairings at the moment are MattGuy, LegaultHeath, and ErkNino. So all the other FE7 characters are up for grabs!

And so you know, this is more of a prologue than anything else. I know it's short and probably a bit boring, but please, please, please bear with me?

And, of course, leave a review. I mean honestly; How Hard Is It To Click And Type? (Aka: HHIITCAT?) (Aka: HITCAT?) (Yeah, I'm kinda tired and totally mental…). Even if just to vote for a favorite pairing!

And I know you don't know her yet, but I've posted a picture of the tactician of this story, Emma, at my deviantART account (link on my profile page), (**EDIT: does not apply anymore xx;)** and I'd love it if someone would check it out and leave me some feedback!

Anyway, think HITCAT? And review!


	2. Serendipity

Darkness, pressed around me… it was too warm… shattered glass… evil laughter… shadows, eating someone's arm… who was it? I don't… he looked familiar… I couldn't move, couldn't help… there was blood, and the man was screaming… why-couldn't-I-move!?!

I felt waves of dread and shock run over me… those shadows, they were almost _fondling_ that man, twining around him like cats. But he was still yelling, still bleeding… the shadows were surrounding his arm! I couldn't see even the smallest bit of skin… they were twining, and blood dripped from them… behind the curtain his jet black bangs made, I saw a glimpse of sharp, golden eyes… why was there…? What the-

"-AAARRRRGGH!" A hoarse cry woke me, and only after a long moment of panic did I realize it was _me_ who was yelling. I couldn't stop, though… that terrified me so mu-

Wait… I remembered the fear, but what had I been I scared of? I couldn't remember… wait, there were shadows, and blood… or was there? All I could remember clearly was the black hair and gold eyes, and even that was getting fuzzy.

Gah, I hated dreams anyway. I stood up, but my legs promptly buckled under me. I supposed I'd forgotten how long I'd been crammed on that windowsill… carefully, I tried again.

"Heh…" I muttered aloud, scratching the back of my head and probably blushing, despite the fact that I was the only one in the room to see myself look so stupid.

"You looked really dumb right there, you know."

After I'd fallen on the floor for the second time in as many minutes, I realized that I was _not_ the only one in the room. A man I'd never seen before stepped out of the shadows._ Literally. And,_ as his face came to light, I only saw gold eyes and hair still black in the shadows. So, me yelping and scrambling away was a completely normal reaction..

"Yah!" As I scrambled away, he just looked incredulous.

"They want _you?_" I heard him mutter. I just barely recognized a faint Irish accent before he was moving closer and offering me his hand.

Glaring up at him in the best way I could, I growled and brushed it aside, standing up on my own. Thinking back on what he'd just said, I realized how suspicious it sounded.

"Who wants me for what?" I snarled, a little harsher than I'd intended. I'd just realized that my hair had fallen out of its braid while I was asleep and was hanging down, probably making me look like a girl. And I defiantly didn't want _that_ to be the first impression that guy got. I turn around quickly, cursing to myself, to find my hairtie. I was stomping around the room blushing like an idiot when that guy cleared his throat loudly.

"Ah, do you have short term memory loss or something?" He knocked on my head.

"Hey!" I yelped, jumping away, but he'd already continued talking.

"The guy I work for and that woman who runs this place… er, Carly or something?"

"Karla," I interrupted him, remembering my earlier question.

"Right," he replied, waving his hand flippantly, "her. Well, anyway, they're the ones who want. As for where, downstairs. Where all the other kids rushed to when that bloody bell rang." Here, he rubbed his ear and winced. That thing was pretty awful… I nodded sympathetically. I guess I was more used to it than him, though.

"Yeah, the guy who made it must have been deaf or something," I said flatly.

"Heh. Probably. But back to the point, we've gotta go." And with that, he'd grabbed my wrist and started pulling me after him. I pulled away from him quickly.

"Hey, wait a second! I don't even know who you are; for all I know I'm being abducted right now!" I squeaked in a very indignant way. He turned back to me, an incredulous look back on his face.

"You're kidding me, right?"

I huffed, but decided to follow him anyway. Who knew? There couldn't be anything much worse than the orphanage, really.

As we went, I saw some of the other kids filing back towards their rooms dejectedly. They gazed at me, looking… envious? Spiteful? Jealous? In any case, they looked menacing, and almost feral. Not that that's unusual. The guy, however, didn't seem to know this, and kept glancing back at me surreptitiously. I rolled my eyes at him, still dashing towards the staircase. When we reached it, and I saw his red cape flapping behind him, I realized that I didn't know his name.

"Matthew," he answered, grinning, when I asked. We'd reached the bottom, and he halted in the middle of the hallway. _Without_ any warning. I think he realized his mistake when I rushed into him and knocked him flat on his face.

"Hey, ow kid," he muttered into the floor. A moment earlier, I would have jumped off him in milliseconds, but _kid?!?_ He didn't look much older than me!

"Hey!" I screamed, kneeling on his back, "No way in hell you're any more than 2 years older than me, so don't call me kid!" I put a bit more pressure on my knees to emphasize the point.

Before I knew what had happened, he'd grabbed my ankle and flipped me over and off of him, pulling himself upwards in the process. How did he do that?!? I was the best at fighting in the orphanage…

Acting on instinct, I shifted my weight and twisted into a standing position, hooking my leg backwards and catching _his_ ankle this time. He started to fall, I _saw _it, but then I was on the ground right on top of him.

I-would-_kill_-this-bastard.

"Ah, Matthew?"

I blinked. He blinked. Slowly, we both realized how that must have looked. I was sitting on top of him, my hands pressed against his chest, one of his arms still wrapped around my waist.

That did it. He was doubly dead.

I sprung to my feet as fast as I could, with him following shortly after. A blonde woman, looking to be about 35, was standing in the front doorway. Behind her was a mauve-haired man with a long scar running across one eye who looked like he was in his twenties.

The mauve-haired one smirked. "Looks like you scored, Matthew boy," He teased, gazing at me appraisingly. I gulped, noticing just how… attractive… this man was. Tall, slender, faint outlines of muscles showing through his skintight dark clothing… I was sure I was blushing again.

Matthew, meanwhile, seemed to have gotten over any surprise and had draped his arm around my neck casually. "Yeah, he's gotta come, neh?"

A bronze-skinned girl stepped from behind the blonde woman. Her red eyes glinted, and she grinned at me ferally. "Hell yeah."

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**EDIT: **Review, I'll love ya and update more and all that! I just retyped this chapter so that it's in the right tense, too. Hope the transition was okay… seemed fine to me, but who knows?

(That was a hint for some feedback :P)


	3. Doom

Heya people! I think I'm getting things going again! I actually _want_ to type out this stuff now, and I'm thinking up plot details and twists again! Actually, a few nights ago I dreamt a whole scene that I'd been obsessing over. It was so cool! But then Batman came and wrecked it… but up until then, it was cool. Kinda freaky, but whatever!

Anyway, just to clear up some stuff: I went back and re-read my last couple chapters, and I realize now that all my tenses were mixed up. It'd switch from past to present tense… I remember I was debating which one to choose. And now I can't remember which one I picked… but in any case, it's supposed to be in past tense now, and I'm sorry about all the errors in the last chapter! I'll fix them someday, maybe… eheh.

Also, I know some people were confused about that little Legault/Guy moment there… NO, I'm not pairing them up. They belong to Heath and Matthew respectively X3 I just wanted to make it very clear that Guy is gay from the start, he doesn't _magically turn gay_ when he gets to know Matthew. Make sense?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

To Pyro: Uwah! I didn't send this to you 'cause I couldn't wait to post it and I've got no idea how your life's been recently. For future reference, are you still up to beta? If not, I understand and love you anyway and wish you luck. If so, then… well, duh, yay!

Alright… _now_ the chapter!

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**Ch3: My Own Personal Whirlwind**

"Matthew, the others have already left with the other new people. Pricilla, Raven, and Rebecca," the red-eyed girl drawled, eyes now drooping in boredom. Was she bipolar or something? She was so scary and awake just seconds ago…

"Everyone else? I thought no one wanted to go anywhere with you… who else _came?_" Matthew drawled back. Her eyes narrowed further, though she still looked bored.

"Idiot. Pent, for one. And Miss Ninian and Leila." She counted the names on her fingers pointedly.

For whatever reason, I suddenly realized that Matthew's arm was still slung around my neck. "Get _off!" _I yelped, jerking away. He pouted.

"Aw, come now…"

"Ahem," coughed the blonde politely. I looked at her. "So how about some introductions? I'm Louise."

"I'm Matthew," smirked Matthew. I glared at him.

"I'm Legault," the long haired man supplied.

"And I'm Neid," droned the girl. She just got less and less animated…

"…er, I'm Guy…"

"We know," chimed Neid and Legault, rolling their eyes. Matthew's ears flared red. Whaa…?

The silence was incredible.

"So, er… where am I going?"

All of them exchanged looks. Why was I getting a feeling of impending doom?

--

It ended up that I was _not_ to know where I was going, but I was supposed to trust in Matthew and the rest of them and just _go._ In the end, it was my all-consuming hatred for the orphanage that drove me out to go with them.

Naturally, as soon as we stepped outside the gates I made a run for it. Unfortunately, Matthew and Neid caught up with me within milliseconds and I promptly fainted. Starving myself was not such a good thing for building stamina. When I woke up, I was in a horse-drawn carriage along with Neid, Legault, and Matthew.

I blinked, trying to get my bearings again. My head was spinning in a very distracting way… groaning, I reached to clutch at my head, hoping to steady it. When my vision cleared enough for me to notice, I realized that there was some dried meat and sugary candied pineapple and mango hanging under my nose- my favorite. I grabbed it without thinking, shoveling first the fruit then the meat into my mouth. I didn't care how I looked; I had foooood…

A snort snapped my mind back to the present. My head shot up, a piece of meat still hanging out of my mouth. It was Matthew, of course.

I glared, completely forgetting about the meat. "Whrrrft?" I growled, before blushing and chewing the rest of the food and swallowing. Legault and Neid were looking incredulously back and forth, from Matthew to me.

Legault was muttering something. "-ou like that little thing?" Neid was just gazing at me strangely.

"Shut up, _Legault,_" snarled Matthew lowly. I looked at Legault, interested. I had a feeling that anything that could make the blonde uncomfortable would be beneficial for me in the long run.

"What?" I asked again, making sure my mouth was meat-free first.

"Mattie-boy likes-" Legault started, arching a brow meaningfully before being interrupted by Matthew.

"_NOTHING," _he interjected forcibly, elbowing Legault sharply. Legault let out a puff of air at the impact and promptly started to chuckle. I noticed Matthew's ears were bright red once again.

"But honestly, dear, why more than me? Or Leila for that matter? Or _Legault,_ even?" inquired Neid cryptically. I blinked at her.

"Hey, I do not deserve that _even_."

"Shut up," Matthew hissed, glaring at them both. They grinned and shut up. I really, _really_ wanted to know what that was about… maybe I'd ask one of those two later…

I conveniently forgot that I was scared of both of them.

"So Guy," Matthew started, "you are a _guy,_ right?" Neid choked.

What?

"I-I-I… o-of course! W-why?" I stammered indignantly. Matthew looked at me wide-eyed- a sad attempt at looking innocent, I assumed.

"Well, your hair's so long, and your voice isn't the most manly thing, not to mention you wear a really tight shirt and you're certainly skinny enough," he started matter-of-factly. Neid was sniggering uncontrollably. I felt my face heat up.

"I h-hate you! You have to know I'm m-male!" I was on the verge of yelling as I fumbled around for a hair tie- the lack of it had obviously started this conversation.

I was still fumbling and muttering things about Matthew when he dangled my hair tie right in front of my face. I blinked at it.

"Y-you… _stole_ my _hair tie!?!_" I was actually yelling now. Legault winced and rubbed his ear. Fuming, I snatched at it. Matthew just pulled it out of the way. "_Give it ba-ack!_" My voice cracked on the last syllable, embarrassingly enough. But honestly, he set me up! It was his fault I was in this stupid situation!

I _hate_ being mistaken for a girl.

Matthew stopped moving as soon as I stopped speaking. Not caring why, I yanked my hair tie away from him and secured my hair in a ponytail-it'd have to do for now. When I looked back at Matthew, he looked paler somehow, though he had moved back into his seat and away from me. Upon closer inspection, the hair on his arms was raised.

Did I _scare_ him?

Hah. Served him right. I shifted deep into my seat in contentment, settling my head against the window. Suddenly, I felt very, _very_ tired. Yawning, I drifted into sleep. Neid's words followed me:

"We've got some kinda lighting on our hands, wouldn't you agree?"

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And there you have it. Again, I apologize for any typos and weird switches between tenses. If you noticed anything in particular, wouldja tell me?

Also, I'd like to say THANKS SO MUCH to **Rhia**. I don't really care that you've never reviewed before, but it's so, so awesome that you did so now. Honestly, that review kinda sparked my drive again, just 'cause it's cool to hear from a reader for the first time… so :glomp:

Anyway, please, please review. I'm a very shallow person, and reviews are like fuel for me… it's pathetic, but whatever. I've got very iffy motivation.


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